I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
