the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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