When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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