I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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