What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
