i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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