Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
