do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
