I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You took a bar mat shot.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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