I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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