East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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