even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
