Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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