omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
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i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
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First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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