How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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