I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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