Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
