i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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