thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
