Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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