The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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