If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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