Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
