I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
