I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
