last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
