I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize