1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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