I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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