So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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