I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
