Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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