god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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