spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
