She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
