This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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