a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
