And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Pooping to opera.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
