omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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