some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
