Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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