I wanna passion pit in your ass
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
