U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
