capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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