Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
