I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
