All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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