just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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