I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
