Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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