she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
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I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
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Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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