yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
