Pants 0. Shit 1.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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