Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
