dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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