i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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