Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
