the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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