His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
