And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
