were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
