just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this just has baby written all over it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Liz is crying about burritos again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
