yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
